Sometimes…….

Sometimes I feel sad. Sad that things can never be like they used to be. We cant ever get the yesterdays back. I miss my “LITTLE” Kids….I miss my yesterday Husband, I miss my yesterday energy and zest for life, I miss my brave face, I miss the days that felt so right that I know they were magic, but I wasn’t paying attention then….

We took two of our grand kids to see fireworks tonight, and as the sky was bright with so many colors, and the smell of sulpher filled the air, and the kids whooped and hollered with each bang, I remembered all the yesterdays, filled with the way things USED to be, and know that they can never be “Just” so again.  We don’t realize we are “getting ” older  until we are already there……So…. Where the FUCK is my rocking chair?

Sometimes? it is what it is………

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About dhowell9000

50 years old, Happily Married to my soul mate, raised 5 children, have 6 grandchildren, Have 3 dogs and 3 cats (rescued all) Work Part time in a drugstore, and make Creative Stuff of all kinds in my Free Time
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3 Responses to Sometimes…….

  1. Rocking chair????? In the spirit of your mood, a rocking chair is dubious, UNLESS however, it is painted pink and blue and yellow, with a touch of green and red and, just to be smart…. nickel azo gold?? i love that nickel azo gold!!!!!..True, time moves on and until something rocks our world, we dont realise that old age is a part of life…… however, 49 is hardly old you know!… When the body starts acting up, i admit one can start to go crazy and miss the things gone by… on the other hand, i keep hoping that all our ailments, all the craziness in the head, all the gasps and gulps when we look in the mirror, remembering the youth gone by, …… i keep trying to think of it as a golden path…. we glide on at a certain point in time, then we start to go slower and slower and then one day we will stop….. and drift across that border… hopefully with as much ease and grace that we can muster….when the body misbehaves and ails us…. that is a hassle, because pain sort of can disconnect us from our higher selves, and its so so easy to drift into what ifs,and griefs over this and that…….. however……. im hoping that our minds and our bodies can become best of friends, and that day, everything will be understood………… im just hoping…. in the meantime i wish you ALLLLLL the wellness in the world…. i hope you will recover from what ails you, on all levels…… I think you are such an awesome being………… If i have to imagine you, i would say you are a rainbow of brilliant colors……. spreading across the universe…. connecting with heart of Gaia and spreading beauty and love and light…….. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

  2. Wow….what SHE said Dawn!! shivashakti925 is spot on! Sending you love and hugs xo 🙂

  3. dhowell9000 says:

    Dear Shiva…..You are a blessed being INDEED! Yes, everything you say is true. I just get really sad when I try to connect with my husband of 21 years, and he totally – misses – that I even reached, or ignores it altogether. We used to share everything, only now? we are slowly drifting, and when I try to communicate? He just shuts me down with excuses, and I’m imagining things.I never thought there would be a world without him, at least not before we passed, So even if we stay together? I think I have to RE-Invent my own world, and that is sometimes tricky…. Thank you SO much for UP lifting me! (((HUGS)))

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